I Wanna Be Rich

I wanna be rich.
I want treasure untold.
A bushel of diamonds,
A bucket of gold.

An ocean of jewels,
A river of cash.
A pool of pearls
In which I can splash.

I wanna be rich
Like the King of Siam.
A thousand times richer
Than I already am.

Gimme a limo
As long as my street,
With a TV and pool
And a fridge full of treats

I'll live in a mansion
With all of my friends,
Where nobody saves
And everyone spends.

I'll buy me a jet
And a pilot or two.
I'll fly 'round the world
And the galaxy too!

I'll buy me a school
With teachers so nice,
They'll do all our homework
And check it all twice.

I'll buy me a zoo
As big as can be,
Where the animals come
To gaze upon me.

I'll buy me a sweet shop
With goodies galore,
Where you eat all you want
And then eat some more.

I'll hire a pie-man
To make me some pies.
Apple and cherry
And chocolate surprise.

There’s only one problem … I don’t like to work.
And I don’t like to save but I sure like to spend.
So if you buy it all for me,
I’ll be your friend!


‘Tis The Season

You can serve me turnip at every meal
Or lock me in the shed.
Take away my brand new bike,
Or send me off to bed.
Disconnect the T.V.,
Shave off all my hair.
Make me kiss Aunt Ethel.
Tie me in a chair.
I'll clean my room three times a day,
I'll flush whenever I go.
You'll never have to "speak" to me,
I'll keep the music low.
I'll tell the truth
And never lie.
Cross my heart,
And hope to die.
I'll cover my mouth,
And I won't burp.
I'll drink through a straw
So I don't slurp.
You can sell my dog,
My cat and my fish.
You can even sell me,
If that's what you wish.
But please, oh please, oh please,
Don't give me clothes for Christmas

Generation Gap

"Turn down that music
you're cracking the walls!"

"Can't hear you, Dad,
I'm having a ball!"

"Click!" goes the radio,
"Aaaaaahh!" goes the kid.

"That's better," says the dad,
"#?!*" says the kid.

"Watch your language
or you'll go to your room!"

"But it's my favourite song!
'Diddy Wa-Wa Sha Boom'"

"Darn!" says the kid.
"That's better," says the dad.

"Slam!" goes the bedroom door.
"#?!*" says the dad.


I'm So Ugly

I'm so ugly...the mirrors don't lie,
I could make a baby cry.
I've been this way right from the start.
I ain’t good lookin’ and I ain't too smart

I've got two ears that stick straight out
And a nose just like a piggy's snout.
One eye looks north and the other south.
I got two wonky teeth stickin' outa my mouth

My hair stands up like I've seen a ghost.
My skins as soft as old burnt toast.
My neck is skinny and long as can be
And my tongue can hang out right down to my knee.

At my appearance the puppies flee,
The kittens cower and the chickens pee.
The birds take off and the rabbits run,
The clouds come out and block the sun.

On Halloween night I just walk out the door.
Tryin' to look scary is never a chore.
Goblins and witches and ghosties and ghouls
Cry like babies and run like fools.

I stand in the field for Farmer Brown
When I'm out there no birds come 'round.
I went to the doctor, I was so upset.
He suggested I go see a vet.

When I go to a restaurant there's never a crowd
They point to the sign saying "No Pets Allowed"
They tell my dad we better take off
‘Cause I can’t use their plates and they don’t have a trough.

Oh, I've been this way right from the start
I ain’t good lookin’ and I ain't too smart.
But I'll tell you something that makes me glad
I'm better looking than you, so it ain't all bad.









All Poems © Copyrighted by
Gerry O'Brien 2006